It’s hard to know why anyone bothers getting up when there’ll never be enough time to lick every ice cream in the world, or to right all the wrongs committed in those happy, heady years before guilt, or to sell enough shoddy products nobody needs to be able to buy that boat you’ll eventually fall off and drown next to.
But wait a minute: we can do little about ice cream and guilt but it turns out that last one, selling stuff, is easily rectified. This has been proven by whichever genius has created the machine that would fill the comments section under each post on this site with incomprehensible marketing-related shite, if only I’d forgotten to set it up so each comment needs approval.
Since yesterday morning I’ve had six emails from a robot, perhaps underlining Stephen Hawking’s ominous predictions of artificial intelligence destined to finish us all . The name supplied is different each time but they all come from the same website, which for the sake of argument we will call toboganium.com, because that’s what it is.
Leave some space between the various perennials you choose for more impact. Perhaps you want to do landscaping on the side and go full-time when you already have a steady list of clients. Large sized projects where a single person is working dedicatedly on single tasks.
Laudable advice, I’m sure you’ll agree, for anyone without prior experience interested in learning about landscaping from an arbitrary starting point via a series of sentences of increasing lunacy.
By following the LEED certification requirements, you are sure to make intelligent and sustainable building choices. Anytime you are considering changing your landscape, you must also think about the structures that already stand on your property. This is particularly useful if your backyard is not fenced in.
I read that last sentence in the pub and, perhaps because I’d been away from the internet for some hours, my mind delivered images to itself that the writer of the sentence most likely didn’t intend. Think ‘rosebud’, but do not think Orson Welles.
You should also keep in mind that a plant will have different branching structures throughout its growth. Easements are created when another property owner (or interested party) requires access to property that may only be accessed from the primary owner’s property. Any business you want to start needs to begin with a business plan.
This one purported to come from a woman named Deirdre Forest, a woman who should know a lot about branching structures and I don’t care if you didn’t laugh at that. Others in this remarkable collection came from: Mikki Frier (the Asian American character in a teen horror movie, the third to be killed, who takes her surname from the stepdad she hates); Carmela Kinchela (anyone with a rhyming name gets my landscaping vote); Bond villain Vickie Clore; Lamont Flannagan (the one having trouble with his/her backyard); and Stormy Freytag, the protaganist in the film that killed off poor Mikki Frier and her topless friends.
Leave some space between the various perennials you choose for more impact. Had you always been thinking to upgrade the pavers of the patio. Crushed and made into soft, tumbled stone, glass becomes a practical and visually appealing second-hand product.
Here we move into dreamscape territory. Glorious electricity snakes across the vivid heavens as the verdant moss creeps ever closer to the edge of my eternal essence. You want a landscaper to sort that out mate, and I know just the chap.
Landscaping includes not just the lawn, but the trees, shrubs, sprinklers, furniture and other features of your Omaha yard. Fix it: Keep up with routine maintenance and it won’t bury you when you are getting a house ready to sell. A landscape designer knows where to place the flowers for greater effect and what plants to seed.
To me, the word Omaha conjures up images of American soldiers being torn to pieces on a Normandy beach in scenes of sheer horror that remained quite unimaginable – until 2002, when a computer game called Medal of Honor allowed us to be the Nazis on the hill doing the tearing, thus transforming the terror into carefree fun. Never let it be said we’re doomed as a race.
Transition or sequence creates visual motion in landscape design. Fix it: Keep up with routine maintenance and it won’t bury you when you are getting a house ready to sell. My blogs cover many areas (niches) from sport related to health and financial areas.
Yes I just bet it does, Mr Toboganium, but your advice in the realm of landscaping is so astute I should stick with that if you’re keen to separate me from my hard earned. Toboganium is a fine name to have chosen, by the way. It conjures up two images for me. One is of an enormous warehouse selling every type of toboggan and sled imaginable to a populace who need reminding that snow is one of our planet’s finest gifts rather than a hateful substance Earth flings down to stop us getting to work. The second is of a flower going very, very fast.
I’ve no doubt these are the images you hoped I would dream up when you began sending me your marketing muck, because simply saying “Look, you have money, we want it, and here’s some shit we’re willing to part with to make that happen” is not exactly how 21st century marketing and advertising became 98% of all traffic online. Though the suicide rates of people involved in marketing and advertising deserve to be up there with bankers and golfers I sense they’re more likely to be tying up unspeakably lucrative deals than nooses as the western world gets ever more frivolous.
Not everyone will agree with that, of course. For some, marketing and advertising are the blood pumping through the arteries of a free economy, and without it all this would still be fields. They make a fine living from making a product seem invaluable to a customer, allowing a phone company to take a call to a credit card company who merrily acquiesce knowing that a bailiff is ready and raring to go when it turns out the product is as essential as a cow-tipping machine and the customer is a mug.
And to those, I say Toboganium. Right on cue, a new email has just arrived from our landscaping friends, this one from mysterious sari-wearing temptress India Gilreath:
The truth is that the job isn’t as predictable as it may sound. Perhaps you want to do landscaping on the side and go full-time when you already have a steady list of
clients. Consequently, individuals have two choices: They can bite the bullet and pay whatever it takes to get their front yard up to snuff, or they can see if they can do some or all of the work themselves.
Oh, fuck off.