The kindness of Rangers

So, me and the missus were up Glasgow’s west end the other week, it might have been for Valentines; a walk round the park and a nice bit of lunch was our simple plan. As there was still rather a nip in the air l decided to put on the camo army jacket l had recently picked up rather cheaply from a local charity shop, and then, we were offski (can we still say offski?)

When we got to St.Enochs subway station l noticed the heavy polis presence and realised, with no small amount of mounting dread, that there must be a game on today at Ibrox. Sure enough, as we waited on the platform it soon filled up with hordes of shouty sweary bluenoses. The train arrived, but as we got on it was apparent that we would be standing for the duration of our journey- the carriage was chock-fulla-huns.

I tried not to catch anyone’s eye, committed to not doing anything that might surely give me away as a probable Fenian. l battled internally to suppress any sudden stray Catholic thought that may have been brewing in my twisted conspiratorial mind, and might, unrestrained, leak, visibly, and I twitched as l fought an itching suicidal impulse to cross myself, mibee even genuflect slightly, but a bear on a corner seat clocked me anyway and shouted over.

“Hey bigman,” he growled, “have a seat.” He stood up quickly, motioning for us to have his and his mate’s. Ruder not to, l thought, and for the rest of our bemused journey we enjoyed this confusing courtesy.

We got off at Hillhead, had a wee wander and a cracking curry, and it was only much later, when l got home and was watching the local news, that it all suddenly dawned on me and ‘the kindness of Rangers’ was revealed. The report reported that it had been Armed Forces Day today at Ibrox. The footage showed the usual chibbed and scarred faces of the nauseatingly ET-ugly crowd, but dotted amongst them were the squaddies, most in their red, white and blue scarves, and all of them, to an (Action) man, wearing the exact same camo army jacket that l too had, unwittingly yet fortuitously, sported that very afternoon.

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