Drowning the golden goose

The ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’. What a load of bollocks. So many shades of stupid I don’t know where to start.

Risk hypothermia and donate to charity at the same time. Riiight. Even drug dealers know it’s not the best idea to risk drowning the golden goose in freezing water, because, let’s face it, that’s what Joe Public is to charities. Especially the ones with ickle-wickle puppikins, or teeny-tiny starving black babies, that can tug at our collective heartstrings and make us feel oh-so-guilty for being human and white, like we had any fucking say in the matter. Freezing water + human body = bad idea.

Waste God knows how many gallons of water ‘for charity’, when there are charities crying out for money to provide water to places where people are actually fucking dying because they have to drink the same water their livestock piss and shit in.

Completely obliterate the whole concept that giving to charity is ‘altruistic’ by getting your ugly mug all over social-fucking-media, ensuring you get to be Little Mr. or Ms. Popular for a few seconds. Most people haven’t the faintest fucking clue what the cause is they’re getting cold and wet for.

Continuing the popularity theme, the Ice Bucket Challenge reinforces the whole hideous, return-to-high-school awfulness of “how many friends have you got?” with the fact that you have to be nominated to take part (this, apparently, is all part of the social media circus of the thing). People actually have to remember that you exist in order for you to be asked to be a complete prat. Either people have forgotten I exist, or they’re aware that I exist but have enough brain cells left to remember that I can be a bastard when I’m angry. And that extremes of temperature make me really fucking angry.

Basically, along with the ‘No Makeup Selfie’ craze, the Ice Bucket Challenge is something started and promoted by vacuous Z-List ‘celebrities’ who’ve run out of marriages and divorces to get them attention, and are frustrated by the wait for the arrival of their next brat for social media to fawn over. These people are followed mindlessly by zombies who haven’t realised that they should actually be killing people in order to get brains, or are perfectly content to carry on without them.

This may come as news to people, but it is entirely possible to give to charity without making a song and dance about it, making a spectacle of yourself, or doing something completely asinine. Although, to be fair, a donkey would have more sense than allow someone to throw freezing water over it.

If you want to experience ice-cold water, get on a plane, go to Sweden, and jump through the ice of a frozen lake, after having had a very, very hot sauna – that’s an experience. And one that you’ll actually be able to look back on, for years to come, and remember fondly, without thinking “Wasn’t I an utter pillock to do that?”

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s commendable to give to charity – but only if you’re doing it for the right reasons. And being part of a social media craze, proving how popular and cool a person you are, is not the right reason.

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