Sliced off and sewn up

Tell a story about a man getting his bollocks damaged, and you can see every man in the room go green. Some women, like myself, start to dry heave at horrific tales of child birth. Today however I think everyone will be horrified to hear that Egypt have decided to find a father and doctor not guilty after the 13-year-old daughter died from “complications” due to female circumcision. I’m sorry, I said that incorrectly – after female genital mutilation.

The judge also gave the family $8,500 in damages. Happy days. This is in a country where the practice has been banned since 2008.

For those who don’t know, this is a procedure you should read about despite the fact it will burn in your memory and make you wonder why we don’t just nuke the entire planet right now. Attached to some religions, and I say attached loosely as it is a cultural practice – let’s be honest many old religious practices have been stopped – it is a procedure that has no medical benefits whatsoever. It is done to keep a woman pure. Now get a pillow to hide behind. This will be brutal.

From birth to puberty a girl is brought to an FGM practitioner. Without anaesthetic she is held done forcibly by four people, usually including her mother. A scalpel is then used to slice off the clitoris and its hood, and in extreme cases the entire labia sliced off and sewn up. Imagine that – the area where you have a lot of delicate little nerve endings getting hacked off as you scream and fight with no painkiller. A small hole is left to excrete piss and blood of course. We are disgusting beasts to even need that. They then pour on some antiseptic and a bit of coffee, and off you go. Just typing this I am retracting my pelvic floor into my body and trying not to spit blood.

It doesn’t stop there. If they survive, and many bleed to death, get septicaemia or even HIV as scalpels are not always sterilised in poorer countries, then life is not a bowl of raspberries. It’s not something you can forget about. Many women get cysts, become infertile and the rate of infant death is higher. Let me take you to the wedding night though. The husband looks down and sees the purity, tick on the box there. Sometimes he brings his friends and family along, just to make sure. They must then force the hole open with, well, his dick clearly. This results of course in ripping, tearing, all so romantic. Husbands who struggle have to call in the secret practitioner; you don’t want it getting round that your dick cant stab and cut female skin after all. The woman is then scalped open again, off he pops, hoorah, babies! Some blokes are shy, bless them, so instead it’s a quick turkey baster up the chuff and waiting until the contractions start, when they’re carved open again. Remember, even after the baby you’ll be sewn up. Mmm pure as the driven rusty metal blade.

You can come back now. Honestly. All those thoughts and feelings spinning round your head right now, you’re disgusted, sick, confused and above all angry. Imagine if you were a little girl knowing it was coming (let alone him cumming). Thank God we are in the UK, phew.

Think again. It’s been illegal of course since 1987. Yet not one case was taken to court until March 2014. There are over 137,000 girls from countries where FGM is standard practice living in the UK. As much as I would truly love to believe this glorious isle offers protection from such blatant barbarity, I can’t. Why was the 2014 case held? Just so happens the UN expressed concern that not one case had ever been found in the UK. Not one. Not even in the 1980s. Just going out on a labia here but maybe, just maybe, no one decided to legally enforce the ban. You know, cos it might be seen as racist?

Anecdotal evidence also shows that many young men in the UK also still believe it is a marriage requirement, none of whom of course know what the fuck it involves. They are slicing up a human being for no other reason than to prove she is a virgin. That’s it. You’re going to have to fucking hammer that thing, and I hope you like the sound of flesh tearing.

I am of course all for equal rights. I also think male circumcision without consent is wrong. There are proven medical benefits in certain cases, and if the man in question wants it removed to stop urinary infection or penis cancer, you go for it. Also consider the procedure. The area is injected with anaesthetic for a start. Quick slice, ban on spanking the monkey for a few weeks, all better. Gross, completely wrong if for religious purposes alone or done without the individual’s permission, yet pretty quick and once done it’s done.

Notice I pointed out that the five finger shuffle is still a possibility. Now imagine your ability to get an erection was also removed, or to ejaculate. No pleasure for you. Well removing a clitoris means fuck all bloody joy out of sex (after the sausage stabbing night of course). Welcome to the world of women as a fucking receptacle.

What amazes me is that there are still educated women who support the use of FGM. Don’t oppress our culture! It is the same as having a nose job – just cosmetic. Are you fucking blind? Do you not have any empathy whatsoever? And what of the mothers of these butchered girls? Maybe they are bitter that they have endured it, or quite possibly they are made to believe they are worthless without being sewn up, but it’s still utterly abominable.

This whole thing could be destroyed in a single generation in Europe. Tell your friends, tell your kids, think about what it actually means. How would it feel? How would it change a person? There are many things most people can choose to see or learn about, but this is something everyone should face, read, see, imagine, and above all loudly insist stops. Otherwise let me near the big red button.

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