Why are religious groups fine wasting paper on their shitty handouts? Save humanity, but fuck the planet. Why aren’t they more eco-friendly?
Let’s take the Watchtower as a jump off point. Admittedly, life would be better if the Watchtower were in fact at a jumping off point, such as Beachy Head. But this place is not for wish fulfilment, just the musings of an enraged mind.
At least once a week, I see the acolytes. At the bus stop, at the train station, on my doorstep. Soliciting our pagan souls with their suggestive pamphlets. Do you know what else I see? Their stupid Watchtowers scattered about the streets and pavements. What’s the fucking point? Every God damn week, the streets are littered with them. Surely those good Christian souls will clean up the mess? Of course they bloody well don’t. Fucking inglorious bastards!
It’s not as though their paperwork gets them anywhere. More than a fair share of us have either worked in sales of some description, or been set upon by charity workers. There’s an art to that kind of thing. How would you like a free coffee? We’ll take 5-10 minutes just to let you know about us and then you can claim your prize. Is that so fucking hard? I came up with that in literally seconds.
How many hundreds of years have the religious crowd had to finesse their approach? Yet their footfall to conversion ratios are shite. I mean, they can’t be hitting KPI targets can they? Add the 100% record of failure in the exit polls – how do they manage not to spend all their days and nights bashing their heads against walls? That’s the problem when you’re on a crusade, powered by naught but fervour and, gulp, faith.
You’d think they’d be concerned about the money they were throwing away on printing the damned things. Of course they’re exempt from tax, which is interesting when you consider the often pivotal role religions have played in slavery and racial discrimination, sexism, homophobia, paedophilia…the list could go on to such a degree, becoming so horrible, as to actually defeat its own irony. Such utter contempt for the poor taxpayer is just one more thing they somehow get away with.
How do they live with themselves? I have no idea. Maybe a combination of God and hard drugs help them through the cold nights in their hessian sacks and flax beds. I have family who are travelling the religious path carved out by Jehovah. Whenever we have a theological debate, they are able to quote you chapter and verse. They will proceed to whip out a copy of the Bible, using it as a referencing book, showing you that everything they had just told you was correct. Of all the great works of literature throughout the ages, the Bible is not at the top of my list. But the memorisation of it, truly, is a great feat of mental aptitude.
Yet they still insist on cluttering the streets and ruining the environment in the feeble attempt to ensure our souls, watching us all from their paper tower.